Lost Memories
by rekidai
Summary: [AU: S03XE12] After the accident, Serena wakes up to find out she doesn't remember anything. Slowly she starts to rediscover herself and change. [Serenate with small Chair moments]
1. Prologue

_A/N: I wanted to write a Nate and Serena fanfic for a really long time. I finally decided to write one when I was watching gossip girl again. I'm still working on the other stories that I have it's just this one I had so many thoughts and ideas I decided to write it all down first. Enjoy and please review :) _

* * *

**Prologue:**

_The car swerved around and crashed into the tree on the side of the road. Serena launched forward and hit her head hard against the front window. The window was slightly cracked. The airbag cushioned the blow for Tripp. He lifted his head up and shook Serena. She was out cold and noticed the large amount of blood coming from her head. He started panicking and looked around the road. No one saw what happened. Tripp reached inside his jacket for his phone and called Maureen._

"_Hello? Maureen, I'm in trouble" he said._

_He quickly explained the situation to her and she listened carefully. Maureen responded with a plan to save him from a political disaster. When he got out of the car, it was colder. He could see his breath as he walked to the other side of the car. Serena still hasn't woken up yet and he was scared that she wasn't going to make it. He quickly moved the body to the other side of the car and called 911 anonymously. Maureen arrived shortly and he got into the car. As she drove away, he turned around and watched as the car slowly disappeared._

_Nate arrived at the accident and saw them carrying Serena into the ambulance. He rushed over to her side. Serena's forehead was covered in blood and there was still blood dripping the side of her head. There were scratches on her shoulders and a deep red mark at the side of her neck. Nate couldn't bear to see her like this._

"_Sorry son we have to rush her to the hospital" one of the paramedics said._

"_Can I ride with you?" Nate asked._

_The paramedic nodded and let Nate ride at the back with them. When they got to the hospital, Nate got out and watched as they rushed her inside. As he was about to walk in he noticed Tripp getting out of the car._

"_Have you seen her? Is Serena okay?" Tripp asked._

_Nate shifted his eye and saw Maureen in the driver's seat._

"_Where were you? You were supposed to be with her" Nate asked._

"_I'm sorry, I had to leave. I couldn't risk a scandal" Tripp said avoiding eye contact._

"_Wait, you were with her in the car? You left her alone in a wrecked car and you moved her? What happened to you man? I thought you were the good guy! The honest one" Nate said._

"_Nate, you gotta understand" Tripp said._

"_Oh, I fully understand" Nate said._

"_I called 911" Tripp said trying to make it sound better._

"_Oh, come on. Are you serious? I know we're family, but what you did is unforgivable. The cops are asking questions, I'm telling them the truth" Nate said angrily._

_Maureen got out of the car and walked closer to Nate._

"_The truth was Tripp was with me" she said._

"_I told you to stay in the car" Tripp said glancing at her._

"_I think the days of you telling me what to do are behind us, don't you? I've spoken to William. He's got Tripp's back on this one. If anyone starts asking questions, I'm ready with a statement that says Tripp was with me all night" Maureen explains._

"_And what about Serena's statement?" Nate retorted._

"_With her history of drinking and drugs? Not to mention her unstable family background and the many, many men. In any case, your grandfather is very well liked by the sheriff's department around here" Maureen rebutted._

"_Coming Tripp?" she asked as she walks away._

"_I'd love to see her. Do you think you could help me-" Tripp begins saying before Nate punches him in the face._

_Tripp falls backwards not believing what just happened._

"_You stay the hell away from her" Nate screamed out as he walked into the hospital._

_Everybody was waiting outside her room already. Nate joined them as they explained to him Serena's condition._

"_They said it's really tricky right now. She hurt her head badly and they won't know until she wakes up" Blair said._

"_I'm going to go see her" Nate said as he walked into the room._

_He sat next to Serena and waited for her to wake up. Nate stayed by her side night and day for the next couple of days. There was still no sign of her waking up. He started getting worried that she might not wake up now. Nate reached for her hand and gave her a light squeeze._

"_Please come back" Nate whispered._

"_Nate, you should go home" Blair said by the doorway._

"_I'm fine" Nate said._

"_Lily will be here in an hour. We can take over" Blair offered as she walked closer to the bed._

"_I just want to be here when she wakes up" Nate said looking over Serena._

_Serena's fingers began to move slightly and it surprised Nate. He waited for it to happen again and he looked over at Blair._

"_Get the doctor Blair, I think she's waking up" Nate said._


	2. Chapter One

_A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Just wanted to let you guys know there will be some episodes thrown into this fanfic as well as some major turn of events. There will be bits and pieces from the episodes and is heavily on Serena's point of view with some Nate. Hope you guys enjoy : ) _

* * *

**C****hapter One:**

There were muffled noises when Serena woke up. She stared at the white ceiling and slowly tried to get up. Her head was spinning and pounding so she stayed down. There were three unfamiliar people standing at the end of her bed. One of them was a doctor judging from the white coat he was wearing.

"How are you feeling Serena?" the doctor asked.

'_Serena? Is that me?' _she wondered.

"My head hurts" she said quietly.

The doctor came over to the side of the bed and pushed a button. It made the top of the bed raise so that she was sitting up with no effort.

"Thank you" she said.

"What's your full name?" he asked again.

Serena looked at him blankly. She only just discovered her first name. The doctor was still waiting for her to respond so she just said "Serena." The doctor wrote on his clipboard and gave her a weary smile.

"Does anything hurt?" he asked.

"My head just hurts a bit" she responded.

"That should go away in a few minutes" he said as he continued to write on his clipboard.

The doctor walked out of the room leaving two people behind. The brunette girl sat on the edge of her bed while the cute blonde guy sat in the chair next to her.

"Do you remember anything?" she asks.

Serena shook her head, still confused.

"Sorry, but who are you guys?" Serena finally asked.

The brunette looked shocked and shook her head. She tried her best to smile before answering Serena's question.

"I'm Blair and that's Nate. The three of us known each other since we were little" Blair explained.

An older woman and man walked into the room. The woman gave Serena a hug and she was once again confused with the gesture.

'_My mother maybe?' _she wondered

"Is it true? The doctor said you don't remember anything" the older woman said.

Serena shook her head once more. Seeing so many people at once started to make her head hurt more. She shifted down on the bed and tried to get more comfortable.

"I'm your mother and this is Rufus, my husband" she said.

"Dad?" she questioned.

"No,this is your step-dad" her mother explained.

"Oh" Serena said in a small voice.

'_This is a nightmare, can I please wake up from this?' _she thought.

"Your brother is waiting outside with your step-sister and step-brother" her mother said.

"There are more people?" Serena asked.

"Yes, did you want to see your brother at least?" her mother asked.

Serena nodded, curious to know how her brother looked like. Her mother stepped out of the room and came back with a shorter dirty blonde hair. He was slender and had pale skin.

"Hey Serena, I heard...I'm Eric your brother" he said quietly.

"Hi Eric" she said with a small smile.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Overwhelmed" Serena said.

Eric looked around the room and nodded.

"Yeah, I would be too. At least you know you're loved" Eric joked.

Serena lightly laughed. There were five people in the room already and two more outside. It was overwhelming meeting all these people again. The doctor entered the room with a smile on his face.

"Serena can go home once we run a CT scan on her brain" he said.

"That's great" her mother said as she looked over at Serena.

"Did you want to come home today?" she asked.

'_Home...I wonder how that looks like' _Serena thought.

"Sure" she said.

The doctor helped her out of her bed and led her to the other room. Serena climbed onto the machine and laid on the platform. The doctor went to the other side of the glass and turned the machine on. She lay still and watched as the she went inside the machine. It took several minutes for the machine to finish.

When she got out, the doctor was already waiting for her. He helped her to the floor and walked with her back to his office where Rufus and her mother were waiting. Serena sat next to her mother and waited for the news.

"Luckily there was no damage to the brain" the doctor said smiling.

"What about her missing memories?" her mother asked.

"It could be temporary or permanent. I suggest Serena to just go about her routine and see if she can recall anything. There's nothing we can do right now about her amnesia. She will have to come back in a few weeks just for a checkup. If your head still hurts after today though you should call me immediately" he said closing her folder.

The doctor reached inside his desk and pulled out several business cards to give them.

"Alright, thank you" her mother said as she got up to shake his hand.

Serena followed her mother out of the room. Nate and two other people were waiting outside stood up when they saw them. Rufus went to talk to two of them privately.

'_Who are they?' _ Serena wondered.

"Hey, are you okay?" Nate asked as he walked towards them.

Serena nodded.

"Have you been waiting all this time?" Serena asked.

"Yeah, I wanted to make sure you were fine" Nate said as he rubbed the back of his beck.

Serena blushed when she heard.

"Thanks" she mumbled.

"Hmm, do you know who those two are?" she asked.

"That's Daniel and Jenny" Nate said.

"They're Rufus' kids" her mother explained.

"Ah" Serena said nodding.

'_Step-siblings' _she thought.

Rufus walked back and introduced the two to Serena trying not to overwhelm her again. Serena shook their hands and smiled politely. There were too many people she had to remember already. Out of all the people she met recently though she felt the most at ease with Nate. She hoped that he would stay with them a bit longer before going home. There were two limos waiting at the front of the hospital when they were outside. Rufus, Dan and Jenny got into the first one while her mother got into the second one.

"Are you coming with us?" Serena asked Nate.

"I have to go home tonight, but I'll come by tomorrow and see how you're doing" he said.

"Oh okay, I'll see you tomorrow then" Serena said trying to hide her disappointment.

Nate watched as Serena got into the limo and regretted not going with them. Serena was glad that the windows were tinted so Nate wouldn't know that she was watching him as the limo drove away.

"You're getting along with Nate as usual" her mother said.

"It's really easy to get along with him" she said with a smile.

"I swear when you were just a little girl you had a crush on him" her mother said smiling fondly remembering the past.

"I did?" Serena asked curiously.

"Yes, but he was already Blair's boyfriend" her mother said.

"Oh" Serena said as she leaned back.

Serena watched as each street passed and read the signs. Nothing was coming back to her yet and she can't recall where she is. When they reached the apartment, Serena stared up at the building in awe.

"We live here?" she asked her mother.

"Yes since you were a little girl" her mother said as she led Serena to the lobby.

'_What floor do we live on?' _Serena wondered as they got in the elevator.

Her mother pressed the Penthouse floor and Serena's eyes widened. The elevator wasn't big enough for the five of them to ride together.

"So how long have you guys live here?" Serena asked as she looked towards Rufus, Dan and Jenny.

"Well Dan doesn't live here, only me and my dad. I think we've been here for couple of months now" Jenny said as she looked towards her dad.

"Yes" Rufus says nodding his head.

"Oh, where do you live then?" Serena asked Dan.

"At a loft in Brooklyn" he replied.

"Oh" Serena replied.

Dan noticed Serena looking confused and said "I can take you there when you're ready."

"That would be great" Serena said with a smile.

The elevator reached the top of the building and Serena walked into the living room. The penthouse was big and different than what she had imagined. The whole place looked as if she stepped into a magazine. Her mother gave her a tour of downstairs first before she led her up the stairs. Serena stopped and looked at the painting that was by the stairs.

"That's an original Richard Phillips painting" her mother said when she noticed Serena admiring it.

"Oh, it sort of looks familiar" Serena said as she walked up the rest of the stairs.

Her mother pointed out everyone's bedroom on the floor and walked Serena to hers. Her bedroom was painted navy blue and had only one painting on the wall by her bed. Serena felt out of place in her room. It didn't feel welcoming at all.

"Are you sure this is my room?" Serena asked.

"Well it was your room until you moved out for a bit. Jenny took your room afterwards but we thought it would be best if you came home for a while so I asked the decorator to restore your room" her mother said with a smile.

Serena opened her closet and saw it was filled with gorgeous clothing. Each one hanged beautifully in her closet.

"Are these all mine?" she asked.

"Yes, Blair sent them over since you will be living here now" her mother said as she walked closer.

"Oh, wow they're beautiful" Serena said as she ran her hand through the material of the first dress she saw.

"I'll let you get settled in, let me know if you want anything. I put your purse and phone on the table" her mother said before leaving the room.

Other than her closet, Serena hated everything about her room. The walls were bleak and dark, and she hated the furniture she had.

'_Did I pick everything in my room?' _she wondered as she walked towards her drawers.

The first drawer she opened had make up. There was a bunch of eye shadows, lipsticks and mascara. Serena couldn't help but open one of the neutral eye shadows and put it on her eyelids. Next she put some light pink blush on and opened the first lipstick she could get her hands on. It was a bright red and she carefully glide it on her lips. She stared at the mirror and made a face.

'_This looks so unnatural' _she thought as she put the red lipstick away.

The next couple drawers she opened disappointed her. It was only filled with more shirts, blouses and jeans. There was nothing else in them.

'_At least I had good taste in clothes' _she thought.

The last drawer she opened contained a box and several photo albums. She took them out and placed them on the bed. The box was medium sized and was black velvet. When she shook it, she can hear things rattling inside. It got her more excited to open it.

Serena placed the lid beside her and looked through everything. There was a bunch of concert tickets, photos and a small stuffed teddy bear. She figured this was a memory box but she wasn't sure why a teddy bear would be in it. The photos were mostly of her and Blair. There were some with Nate in it too and another stranger she couldn't recognize. She turned to the back of the picture and read the inscription, _Me, Blair, Nate and Chuck at a Christmas Party._

'_I guess Nate really is Blair's boyfriend' _she thought as she stared at one photo with Nate kissing Blair's cheek.

She placed everything back in the box and started looking at the photo albums. There were only three that she could find but each photo was carefully labelled. The first album mostly contained her and Blair when they were little but there was Nate in some of them too. She couldn't help but smile when she saw a little Nate.

'_He was cute when he was little too' _she thought.

Serena came across a picture with the three of them and another little boy. The caption read _Me, Blair, Nate and Chuck before we went apple picking._

'_Oh I guess I knew Chuck when I was little too' _she thought.

The more pictures she looked at the more confused she got. She reached the last album and it seemed most recent. There was a picture of her and Dan together with him kissing her cheek. She read the caption underneath it, _The Debutante Ball with Dan 3. _There were more pictures of them afterwards and she closed the album afterwards.

'_I dated my step-brother? Did I really?' _she thought.

The image of him and her at a wedding came to mind again as she tried to shake it out.

'_There has to be an explanation for this' _she thought.

Serena eyed her bag that was sitting on top of the dresser and tossed everything out onto the bed. She needed more answers. There was too many missing information right now. Her wallet had her ID and she found out she was currently 19. Nothing else was interesting until she came across a letter addressed to her from William Van Der Woodsen. She carefully opened the envelope and read through the letter.

'_Dad and mom in a hotel room? Why?' _she thought.

She needed more answers now. There was a notepad lying around and she took it to her bed so she could jot down the questions she had.

_-When did me and Dan date?_

_-How long did it last?_

_-Was he my step-brother when we dated?_

_-Why is mom with dad in the hotel room?_

She looked through the questions again and tried to think of anything else she wanted to ask. Nothing came to mind and she came out of her room. There was voices coming from downstairs and she looked over the rail to see who it was. Chuck was talking to Lily in the living room. Serena walked down the stairs to meet them.

"Serena, are you feel unwell?" her mother asked.

"No, I'm fine. Sorry I just saw Chuck and wanted to talk to him" she said.

"You remember me?" Chuck asked with a slight smile on his face.

"Well no, I saw some pictures and you were in them" she said.

"Ah and I thought dear old sister remembered me" he said as he fixed his tie.

"Sister? I thought I only had one brother?" Serena asked turning to her mother.

"Biologically, I adopted Chuck couple months after Bart died" her mother explained.

"Who's Bart?" Serena asked.

It felt like every time Serena received an answer there was two more questions that pop up in her head. The whole thing was starting to get frustrating as she tried to piece everything together. Her eyebrows furrowed together.

"Bart was my last husband before I married Rufus" her mother said.

'_Geez, how many step-fathers do I have?' _Serena wondered.

Serena shifted her eyes to the cream colored sofa and decided to sit down. All this information is overwhelming her again. She needed more time to process things.

"I have to get going now; Blair is waiting for me at home. I'll see you soon Serena" he said with a warm smile.

"Wait, you're with Blair?" Serena asks as she glances up.

"Yes, you even tried to help last year" Chuck said with a light chuckle.

"Oh" Serena said.

There were more questions she wanted to ask now but she didn't want to keep Chuck from leaving. Her mother got up when she heard the kettle clicked. Serena followed her mother to the kitchen and watched as she took out a tin can.

"Did you want some tea?" her mother asked.

"Sure" Serena replied.

Her mother placed two tea bags in the separate cups and poured the hot water into them. She passed Serena a cup and took it to the living room. Her mother sat next to her on the couch and sipped some of her tea.

"Can I ask you some questions?" Serena asked.

"What is it?" her mother asked as she held onto her cup closely.

"I read a letter from dad that you were in the hotel room with him. How come you were there?" Serena asked.

"Serena, I don't want to overwhelm you" her mother says as she gets up.

"You should get some sleep, you went through a lot today" her mother continues.

Serena got up and said "mom, tell me."

Her mother turned around and looked at Serena. There were so much that happen the last couple of days, the accident, Rufus being apart and Serena returning home. She sighed.

"I have cancer, your father was treating me. I haven't told anyone else yet" her mother said with her eyes closed.

"Cancer?" Serena questioned.

"Yes, I'm fine now dear" her mother said with a smile.

"Oh mom, I'm so sorry" Serena said as she went over to hug her.

She was surprised with Serena's hug. It's been awhile since Serena hugged her. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her tighter.

"Did I know before? Does anyone else know?" Serena asked.

"No, this is the first time I've told anyone. Can you please keep it a secret?" her mother said.

Serena let her mother go and nodded. She never had a good look at her mother when she was in the hospital. There was so much going on all day.

"Umm can I have my room redecorated?" Serena asked.

"Of course, I'll make a call to the decorators tomorrow. You don't like your room?" her mother asked.

Her room was dark and bleak. She didn't even want to sleep in it today but she had nowhere else to sleep.

"No" she mumbled

"We'll have it redecorated tomorrow" her mother said.

"Okay, thanks" Serena said with a yawn.

"I'm going to go to bed now. Good night" She said with a smile.

"Good night" her mother said in return.

Serena walked back to her bedroom and took out her memory box again. She grabbed the picture she wanted and held it in her hands when she got in bed. The four of them was staring at her as she stared back. She wanted to make sure she remembered Blair, Chuck and Nate.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two: **

The morning was filled with decorators coming into Serena's room and asking her what she wanted. She pointed out the colors and textures and even showed the decorators several pictures she liked. Serena was downstairs in the living room sitting cross-legged on the floor having a salad when Nate came in.

"Hey Serena, how are you doing?" Nate asked with a warm smile on his face.

He was happy to Serena. Serena gave him a shy smile. There were butterflies in her stomach.

"I'm doing better today. I don't have a headache anymore" she said.

"How come you're sitting on the floor and not in your room?" he asked.

"Oh I asked the decorators to come and redo my room" Serena said as she took another bit of her salad.

"Didn't like it?" Nate asked as he sat next to her on the floor.

Serena shook her head as she remembered the dark navy walls and deep brown furniture. She had the furniture removed this morning and was waiting for the room to be finished before she get the movers to put the new furniture in.

"It just didn't feel right" she said.

"Did you start to remember anything?" Nate asked curiously.

"No, I mean I found my memory box and albums but nothing came back to me" she said as she stared blankly at her salad.

It felt weird to keep asking questions about her life. Almost every hour she had another question about her old life, the one she can't remember and almost every hour her mother hesitates to answer her.

"Did you want to go for a walk?" Nate asked as he got up.

Serena glanced up at him and nodded. There was no way she could stay in this apartment any longer. She didn't want to talk to her mother anymore and she didn't feel comfortable enough to ask Rufus or Jenny about her past.

* * *

They were walking around Central Park. It was really cold and Serena was glad she was wearing a beige Burberry winter jacket. They were standing in front of the closet for thirty minutes because Serena was unsure which her jacket was. There were so many that she started getting confused. Nate picked out the beige Burberry telling her that he remembers Serena wearing it several weeks before the accident.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked looking towards him.

"What is it?" he questioned.

"How did I get in that accident?" Serena asked.

Her mother wouldn't answer the question this morning when she asked and she was starting to get really curious.

"I don't know if I should tell you Serena" he said.

"Please?" she pleaded as she looks up at him.

"You were in the car with Tripp coming back to the Upper East Side. There were wolves on the road and he swerved to avoid hitting them. The car crashed on the side of the road" he said.

"Who's Tripp? How come he wasn't in the hospital?" she asked.

"It's complicated Serena" Nate said as he looked down.

He wasn't really sure how he could explain the whole situation to her. There was so much that was going on within the past month that he wasn't sure where he could begin.

"Was he my boyfriend?" she asked.

Deep down she knew something was wrong if Nate couldn't explain it to her. There were many scenarios that were running through her head now.

'_Is he dead?' _she thought.

"Can you please tell me?" she asked again.

"You were technically Tripp's mistress. Maureen, his wife came and blackmailed you. When Tripp came home you wanted to leave. On your way back I guess you were arguing with him and that's when you guys crashed. That's all I know" Nate said as he placed his hands into his jacket pocket.

"Oh" Serena said.

She realized she has been saying that a lot lately but she couldn't help it. The more she knew the more it surprised her.

"Mistress huh?" she said.

"Yeah, he really cared about you at the time" Nate said.

"How come he wasn't there when I woke up?" she asked.

Nate didn't want to tell her the gory details of his confrontation with Tripp in front of the hospital. He looked up and watched the little girls play around the fountain.

"Don't think too much about this" he said.

Serena nodded.

"He wanted to but he didn't want a scandal. Tripp moved your body to make it look like you were by yourself" Nate said.

"What?" Serena said. She started feeling a bit angry about it.

"Shouldn't we tell the police or something?" Serena asked.

Nate shook his head and she noticed he had sadness in his eyes now.

"Even if you wanted to, Maureen said she would be ready with a statement saying that she was with Tripp the whole night" Nate said his eyes narrowed at the path they were walking on.

"That complicated?" Serena asked.

Nate nodded.

"Um can I ask another question?" she asked.

"Of course, ask me anything" Nate said smiling.

"Did I really date my step-brother?" she asked.

Nate let out laughter when he heard the question. Serena couldn't help but smile. She really liked the sound of his laugh. It was playful and he had perfect white teeth to compliment his perfect smile.

"Let's go to a cafe first before I answer this one" he said.

They sat down with hot cocoas in their hands and Nate leaned back as he tried to think where to start with the whole Dan-Serena relationship.

"It was back when we were 17 and you just came back to the Upper East Side" he said.

"Came back?" Serena asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"Yeah, before that you were in boarding school in Connecticut" he explained.

"Why did I come back?" she asked more confused.

Nate leaned closer and in a low voice he said "your brother tried to kill himself so he was admitted to the Ostroff Center."

Serena gasped at the revelation. This was all getting to be too much for her. Every time she asks something about her past there was too much information she needed to know. She shook her head.

"So I came back to visit him?" she said.

"Yeah, you met Dan and he helped you out I guess. I don't really remember the details but you guys started dating. During your relationship, you found out your mom and his dad had a thing when they were young. When you guys broke up that's when they started dating" he said.

"Oh, so it was just Serena and Dan back then and now we're step-siblings" she said.

"Yes….who share a sibling" Nate said surprising her once again.

"A what?!" she screamed out.

Serena felt embarrassed and ducked her head lower. She looked around the cafe and noticed everyone went back to their own business. The cafe was small so she was sure almost everyone heard her.

"A sibling? Who? Where is he or she?" she asked.

"His name is Scott and he was adopted by another family. So he's with them now" Nate said.

"Oh", that was the only thing she could reply with.

'_Why is my life so complicated?' _she thought.

"Anything else you want to know?" Nate asked as he drank his coca.

Serena shook her head, "no you pretty much answered the rest of the questions on my list" she said.

"You can always ask me" Nate said with his perfect smile.

His smile was contagious soon she found herself smiling as well. Her phone started vibrating in her bag and she went to look for it. There was a message from her mom saying that the renovations were done and everything was put back in place.

"Oh, I have to get going" Serena said as she put her coat back on.

"Something wrong?" Nate asked.

"No, they finished decorating my room. I want to go back and take a look" she said.

"I'll come with you" Nate said as he got up to put his jacket on as well.

* * *

Nate helped her out of her jacket when they arrived home. Serena noticed Dan was in the living room playing a monopoly with Jenny. She didn't even know they owned monopoly or any board games for that matter.

"Hey, Lily was looking for you" Dan said.

Serena stared blankly at him not registering the name.

"Your mom" Dan said right away.

"Oh okay, thanks" she said with a smile.

Nate followed her up the stairs to her room. Serena looked around and grinned as she noticed the two wallpapers that were used. The three walls were covered in a cream beige solid color with a hint of gold reflection and the one wall with her new bed placed against it was beige with a gold floral print on it. The whole room looked brighter and more welcoming now. It finally felt like it was her room.

"Your room looks nice" Nate said as he walked around it.

"Much better than before" she said with a grin.

Serena walked over to the new white drawers that she bought and opened the last drawer. Her memory box and albums were in there already. She made a mental note to get thank you gifts for all the decorators, movers and help for redoing her room. Her three albums were on her bed now as Nate walked closer to her.

"What are those?" he asked.

"My photo albums" she replied as she lay on her bed opening one of them.

"Come lay down with me" Serena said she pats her hand on the empty spot next to her.

Nate smiled at the thought and slid next to her. Her arm was touching his and he wished that they were both wearing short sleeves so he could feel her skin against his. They looked over the pictures and Nate tried to remember some of the past memories they shared. Nate laughed as he told Serena stories of some of their earlier childhood memories.

"How come I look so drunk here?" she asked pointing at one where she was wearing a men's blue dress shirt.

Nate took a closer look and tried not to laugh since he remembered exactly what happened.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"It's because you _were_ drunk on that day. It was Thanksgiving" he said.

"Oh, what happened?" she said.

"You came to Blair's house drunk and she tried to get you to sober up. We took you upstairs so that you could take a bath and the three of us started to splash around and getting wet" he said with a smile.

Serena smiled as he told her the rest of the story. She couldn't remember it but she enjoyed Nate's storytelling. The next page was just a picture of Nate and Serena and underneath it. It said _Me and Nate at the Shepherd Wedding._

"Shepherd wedding?" she said out loud.

Nate looked fondly at the picture remembering that day like it was yesterday.

"That was before you left for boarding school without telling us anything" he said quietly.

"How come I didn't tell anyone?" Serena said meeting Nate's eyes.

"That's complicated too" Nate said.

"Everything about me seems to be complicated" Serena said as she sat up.

Nate sat up and was still looking at her. He didn't want to break eye contact with her. This was something he wasn't sure if Serena wanted to hear.

"You remember Georgina in the other pictures" Nate started.

Serena nodded.

"She was also one of your good friends, you guys use to party and do drugs all the time" Nate said.

"Oh" Serena said yet again.

'_I was __**that **__kind of girl' _she thought.

"Well after you left the Shepherd Wedding you went to find Georgina and well she made you take a large amount of drugs. Someone died that night and you thought that you killed him. You left for boarding school right after that" Nate explained.

Serena looked down at her lap. The more she heard about her former self, the more she wished she would disappear. It sounded like she was some drugged up, alcoholic, daddy issue kind of girl.

"We cleared it up though, it wasn't your fault" Nate said trying to make her feel better.

"I seem really complicated" she said quietly.

"It doesn't matter that was all in the past" he said.

"Were you hurt that I didn't tell you that I was leaving?" Serena asked as she looked up again.

Nate swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if he should confess his feeling again to her.

"I was" he said carefully choosing his words.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled.

Nate shook his head.

"Its fine, it happened a long time ago. You explained everything when you came back and I understood" he said.

Serena nodded. Nate got out of the bed and looked at the time. He had to get going, he promised his mother he would be home for dinner today.

"I have to go now but I'll see you again soon" Nate said.

"Okay" Serena said as she got up to stand in front of him.

Nate smiled as he was about to turn around, Serena wrapped her arms around his waist to give him a hug. His chest felt warm from her hug and he quickly turned around to hug her back. She was less than inch close to him and he didn't want to let her go. Serena looked up and gave him a big smile.

"Thanks for everything today" she said giggling like a little kid.

"No problem, just call me if you ever want to talk again" Nate said.

Serena nodded and let him go. She sat back down on her bed and she could feel her cheeks slowly burning. The only thing she wished was that Nate didn't have to go home so soon.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three:**

Blair was waiting downstairs with breakfast from Tiffany's when Serena came down. She was surprised to see the Tiffany bag next to Blair.

"I thought we should bring the tradition here" Blair said with a smile.

"We have breakfast from Tiffany's on Sundays?" Serena asked.

"Usually at my place but we can do it here today" Blair said taking out the croissants from the bag.

Serena reached out for one and began eating. The croissant was still warm and buttery. It felt food to eat something buttery for once.

"How have you been doing?" Blair asked.

"I'm pretty good. Last week Nate came over and filled me in with some of the memory holes" Serena said as she finished her croissant.

"That's good, sorry I couldn't be here sooner. Chuck had some stuff that was going on and I needed to be there for him" she said.

"It's okay" Serena said as she sat next to her.

"So you and Chuck huh?" Serena said.

"Yes me and Chuck" Blair said as she rolled her eyes and laughed.

"How long? How did it happen?" Serena asked.

"Almost a year now, we slept together right after Nate and I broke up. We didn't get together until much later though" Blair said.

"OH" Serena let out as she covered her mouth.

"What?" Blair said as she eyed her best friend.

"You and Nate" she said in a hush voice.

"Yes me and Nate once upon a time besides you were the one that held his heart" Blair said jokingly.

"I held his heart?" Serena asked dumfounded.

"Come on S, the guy is there for you day and night and he practically would tell you anything if you ask" Blair said.

"I don't blame you for not knowing though but the more time you spend with him you'll see it" Blair said.

Serena's cheeks turn pink as she mentioned about spending more time with Nate.

"You like him" Blair pointed out.

"No" Serena said quickly.

"You do S! You're blushing!" Blair said happily.

"Oh god! It's weird, I only met him a week ago but I can feel butterflies in my stomach and my heart beating faster" Serena confesses.

"S! A week in the old Serena timeline would make him your boyfriend already! Just call him up and ask him to hang out!" Blair cries.

You think that's okay?" Serena asked as she takes out her phone.

"Yes! Give me your phone" Blair asked as sticks her hand out.

Serena pulls out her phone and hands it to her nervous about what she might do. Blair gave a devilish smile as she started typing on her phone. When she was done, she sent off the message and handed the phone back to Serena.

"There" she said feeling proud of herself.

"What did you write?" Serena asked.

"Just that you want to hang out and see more of him" Blair said with a grin.

"That's sounds so unnatural" Serena said panicking.

"The old Serena might have said that" Blair said with a shrug.

The phone vibrated in Serena's hand and she looked down to see Nate's name on the screen. She couldn't help but smile at the sight.

Nate: I'll come and get you tomorrow at 8pm

Serena shut her phone and thanked Blair for her help. Blair dragged Serena up as they went out shopping for her date tomorrow. Lily gave Serena her black card back so that she could purchase some new clothes.

* * *

Blair showed up at 6:30pm the next day to help Serena get ready for the date. Serena stepped out with a tight red dress that ended before her knees. Blair looked at her and gave her the approval nod.

"Looking hot S!' she squealed.

"Thanks B for doing all this" Serena said as she sat down in front of the mirror.

"It's not a problem" Blair said as she started putting light foundation on Serena.

Next Blair carefully picked a neutral eye shadow color so that she could make Serena's blue eyes stand out with a natural look. When she was done, Serena had a huge grin on her face. She liked the way Blair did her make up. Everything looked natural and made her features stand out more.

"I like how you did my make up" Serena said.

"You just need these" Blair handed her the mascara, lip gloss and eye shadow.

Serena looked at each product and tried to remember how Blair did it. Her phone vibrated again and she knew that Nate was waiting downstairs already. She gave a once look over before she headed out. Blair picked out a longer black Mulberry winter jacket for her so that she would stay warm.

"Have fun" Blair said with a smile.

"Thanks again B" Serena said as the elevator closed.

Nate had one hand in his black trench coat and the other hand he was holding his phone as he looked at it intently. Serena walked closer to him and wondered what he was looking at.

"Hey" Serena said as she gave Nate a quick hug.

"Hey" Nate said as he shoved his phone into his pocket.

"Are you hungry?" Nate asked.

Serena nodded as she heard her stomach growling.

'How embarrassing' she thought.

"Alright let's go" Nate said as he reached for Serena's hand.

She was glad that she didn't bring gloves; she could feel the warmth of his hand better this way. There was a limo waiting outside and they slid into the back. Nate shifted forward and whispered something into the driver's ear. Serena couldn't hear what they were saying and started paying attention the road outside.

"It's almost Christmas" she said excited.

"Yeah, hopefully I'll have a good one this year" he said.

"You didn't last year?" she asked.

"Just some things with my dad" he said.

"Oh what happened?" she asked.

Nate didn't like telling this story.

"He was found embezzling money, now he's in jail" he said simply.

"I'm so sorry for bringing that up" Serena said.

"It's okay, you didn't know" Nate said with a weak smile.

They reached the restaurant and got out of the car. As they walked to the front of the restaurant, Serena heard someone calling her name.

"Serena?" the stranger said behind her.

Serena turned and noticed a tall build brown haired guy. His face wasn't familiar and wasn't in any of the pictures in her album.

"Sorry, who are you?" she asked.

"I'm hurt Serena, I didn't change that much from boarding school. It's Damien" he said.

"Boarding school in Connecticut?" she asked.

"Yes the same one" Damien said with a smile.

"Sorry, I've been in an accident recently and don't really remember anything" she said.

"You're joking right?" he said with laughter.

Damien noticed Serena wasn't laughing and coughed to break the awkwardness.

"Well we should catch up sometimes; I'm always in the neighborhood. Same number still?" he asked.

Serena shrugged. Damien took out his phone to call her and her phone started ringing.

"I guess it's the same number then" Damien said with a charming smile.

"Alright, see you around Serena and…." Damien's voice trailed.

"Nate" Nate said.

"Nice meeting you" Damien said before walking off.

* * *

Serena and Nate were walking down the street after dinner. She was charmed by his charisma and conversations. It was fun getting to know Nate: his favorites, dislikes and pet peeves. They reached the entrance of Serena's building and she looked up. She'll never get used to it.

"I had a lot of fun with you tonight" she said.

"I did too" Nate responded as he inched closer to her.

"Even with all the boring memory reliving?" she asked as she glanced up.

"They're not boring at all" he said.

"That's a relief" she giggled.

Nate wrapped his arms around her and leaned his head onto hers. He wanted to kiss her but was holding himself back because of the whole situation right now.

"When can I see you again?" Nate asked.

"Anytime" she responded.

"What about tomorrow?" he asked.

Serena nodded her head underneath his chin. The thought of seeing him tomorrow made her happy. She crinkled her nose as it was getting a bit colder.

"I really want to kiss you right now" he said.

"Why don't you?" she asked.

Nate let out a laugh, "I would but things are complicated right now."

"You mean about my missing memories?" she asked.

Nate nodded.

"It won't change how I feel now" she said.

Serena had a way of putting things in perspective. Nate liked that about her. He leaned down and kissed her. There was a wave of electricity that went through their bodies and when he pulled away the only word he could say was "wow."

"Yeah wow" she said agreeing.

Her cheeks were burning hot and her lips were tingling from the kiss. Nate walked her inside the building and hugged her before leaving. Serena watched as he left the building before going upstairs. When she reached her floor she could hear screaming from the kitchen.

"Get your suitcase Jenny" Rufus yelled out

"Dad, I'm sorry" Jenny said following him to the living room.

"I know that I'm probably grounded until I go to college, but please, is there anyway that Damien can have visitation rights?" Jenny asked.

"You know Damien?" Serena asked intrigued.

"Yeah why?" Jenny asked.

"I just bumped into him earlier" Serena said.

"I understand that you like Damien Jenny but you can't see him anymore" Rufus said.

"Dad-" Jenny started right before Rufus cut her off.

"You lied to us to protect this boy. And whatever's happening in his home life you know, I can't have you spending time with someone mixed up with drugs" Rufus said.

'Drugs? Damien is mixed up with drugs?' Serena thought.

Serena's mom walked to the living room and shook her head. Serena wanted to ask what was going on but she thought it would be better to stay silent.

"Lily, please. You get it, right?" Jenny asked looking to Lily for help.

"Your father is right" Lily said.

"Okay, you're just taking dad's side cause you guys are in a fight" Jenny said.

'Rufus and mom are fighting right now?' Serena wondered.

"This has nothing to do with Lily and me" Rufus said shaking his head.

"Really? Because Lily is moping around the house and you're spending your time hiding at the loft" Jenny pointed out.

"So just because you finally found something that you guys can agree on, it doesn't mean that you're right" Jenny continued.

Jenny began walking towards the elevator when Rufus asked "Where are you going?"

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs. Let's just get this over with" Jenny said and entered the elevator.

"I wish you and Jenny would just stay here and we could work through this as a family" Lily said.

Rufus shook his head again in anger.

"Jenny needs a break from this world. She needs to be back in her old room, her feet on solid ground. And I think I need that too, at least for a while" Rufus said before leaving.

Lily went to sit on the couch. She had her head in her hand and just kept shaking.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Serena asked as she sat next to her.

"I'm fine dear, I'm sorry right now is really complicated" her mother said.

"Isn't it always?" Serena said with a weak smile.

"I guess you're right" she said as she got up.

They both heard the elevator door open and Lily turned around hoping it was Rufus.

"Rufus?" she asked.

"No, it's Miss Lily. It's me" Vanya said as he walked into the penthouse.

"Is that Rufus' scarf? He wasn't wearing it today" Lily asked looking at the scarf in his hand.

"I did not want to say this, but Dorota insisted. Miss Holland says uh Rufus left this at her apartment" Vanya said handing the scarf to Lily.

He noticed Lily's face turning and continued "I'm sure he was just down there talking about rooftop garden."

"Thank you Vanya. I'm sure that was it" Lily said as she looked at the scarf once more.

Serena watched as her mother stayed still and kept looking at the scarf. She went to give her mother a hug. There was so much she didn't know about the present as well.

"Are you okay mom?" she said.

"Yes" her mother said as she adjusted herself.

"I'm sure he's not cheating on you" Serena said.

"I'll find out for myself" her mother said with a smile.

"Why are you and Rufus fighting?" Serena asked.

"He found out that I stayed in a hotel room with your father...I haven't told him the whole story yet" she said with a weary smile.

"You were with dad?" she asked wondering what the full story is.

"Yes well he's my doctor currently" she said.

It clicked and Serena nodded understanding the whole situation. It wasn't only her life that was complicated, it seemed like everybody in the Upper East Side is as well.


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four:**

Serena overheard her mother talking to Rufus in the morning. They were talking about Jenny again and how she's been skipping school the past couple of days. Her dad suspects that she's seeing Damien. When her mother got off the phone, Serena ran back to her room and called Blair.

"Hey S" Blair said.

"Hey, how are you?" she asked casually.

"Okay just with Chuck right now" Blair said.

"Ah I see…..so hey do you know anyone named Damien?" she asked.

"Damien Dalgaard?" Blair asked.

"Yes him" Serena said.

"From what I remembered, you told me he was your drug dealer at one point" Blair said.

"Oh so he is mixed up with drugs" Serena said.

"Yeah, oh Chuck! Sorry Serena I have to go" she said.

"That's fine I'll see you later" Serena said.

"Yes tonight, Chuck's party! Don't forget" she said before hanging up.

Serena sat on her bed and thought what she could do to help. Her mother walked past her room and knocked on the door.

"I didn't know you were up" her mother said.

"Yeah, was just chatting with Blair on the phone" Serena said with a smile.

"I have to go to a meeting, will you be okay by yourself?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm going out later with Nate for lunch" Serena said.

"Okay" her mother said before leaving.

The time was still 10am, there was about 2 hours before Nate was coming over. She wondered what she could do to pass the time. Her phone was vibrating beside her and she checked her message. It was from Damien.

_Damien: Have time to catch up?_

_Serena: Sure 1:30pm?_

_Damien: Sounds like a date_

Warning bells rang in Serena's head after she read the last message. There's no way she would have thought it was a date. The only reason she wanted to see him was to clear things up, help Jenny and maybe know more about herself. She heard footsteps downstairs and went to see who it was.

"Hey Serena, can we talk?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah sure, come up to my room" she said down the stairs.

Jenny threw her bag on the floor and sat on Serena's bed. Serena sat next to her and wondered why Jenny wasn't in school.

'_She's skipping school again_' Serena thought.

"Parents are such a pain!" Jenny screamed out.

Serena nodded not fully understanding that statement. Her mother has been kind and thoughtful since she came back from the hospital.

"If my dad wasn't so damn controlling and judgmental then I wouldn't have to be sneaking around like this" Jenny said.

"You're 16 Jenny, your dad is just worried" Serena said.

"Serena, when you were 16 you had so many boyfriends" Jenny said shaking her head.

"Did I?" Serena asked.

"I mean you're with Nate and all but back then you had new boyfriends every other week" Jenny said.

It hit a cord in Serena's body. She didn't know that part of her past yet. The things she knew were limited to what Nate told her: the drugs, alcohol, Peter, Dan, and Eric.

"So how are things with Damien?" Serena asked trying to forget what Jenny just said.

"They're great! Um..he listens to me and he treats me like an adult and he really likes me. I've never felt this way before" Jenny said gushing.

"So it's serious then?" Serena asked.

"Well it's about to be. He's uh staying at the Smyth Hotel, and I was thinking that tonight- well you know" Jenny said smiling.

"Tonight? I'd say that is serious then. Your first time? That's monumental. Jenny, the thing about your virginity is that you can never get it back" Serena said.

"Please Serena, it's not like you remember yours. Besides Damien is a really great guy" Jenny said.

'what the f- it's not like it's my fault I can't remember anything' Serena thought.

"You know what? Obviously you're not going to school today. You should commemorate today. I have to get ready for Chuck's party tonight but Nate will take you to lunch" Serena said with a smile just as Nate was walked into her room.

Nate was confused with the changed plans. He asked Jenny to wait for him downstairs since he wanted to talk to Serena in private. When she was out of sight, he turned to look at Serena. She was wearing low cut sweater dress today and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"You know when I asked you out yesterday, I meant with you not Jenny" Nate said in a low whisper.

"I know but my mother and Rufus are really worried about Damien and her so I thought I would help. I talked to Blair this morning and she told me he's a drug dealer" Serena began saying.

"So what do you propose?" Nate asked.

"Well telling Jenny that Damien is bad for her will only make her want him more. So I thought I could work on Damien" Serena explained.

"And how are we going to do that?" Nate asked.

"He messaged me earlier and I invited him over for lunch" Serena said.

"And how will that help?" he asked raising his right eyebrow.

He didn't like the sound of this.

"Well maybe I can talk to him, you know convince him" Serena said simply.

"This sounds absurd, guys aren't just going to listen to other girls tell them not to have sex" Nate said shaking his head.

"Well I haven't figure this plan out perfectly but I was going to call Blair for help" Serena said.

"Oh no not another Blair-Waldorf-Nut-Job plan" he said throwing his hands in the air.

Serena walked closer to Nate and wrapped her arms around him.

"Nate, I know it's not ideal, but Jenny's going to have sex with him tonight if we don't stop this. You didn't see the fight yesterday night. Rufus and my mother are really upset. I just want to help her" she said.

Nate looked down and couldn't resist her sad face. He sighed and said "We should just call Rufus."

"What? So he can ground her again? Nate, give me some time. I'll call Blair and devise a plan with her" Serena said.

Nate shook his head knowing this wasn't going to end well. Most of Blair's plans fail but seeing Serena worried he reluctantly agreed.

* * *

Damien walked into the living room and saw Serena sitting on the floor. She had plates out with take out boxes on the table. The time was 1:30pm and she was worried that the plan will fall apart. She didn't even know what the plan was. Blair told her to keep him occupied while she get someone she needed.

"Thanks for coming over" Serena said.

"Thanks for having me for lunch" Damien said as he sat next to her. His eyes trailed down and looked at her low cut sweater dress.

"I'm so sorry about the other day. I just wanted to get to know you more since I don't really remember boarding school" Serena said with a smile.

"That's fine" Damien said.

"So I was wondering if you could remind me about boarding school" Serena said as quirked her eyebrow.

"What do you need reminding of?" Damien asked.

"Anything" she said.

"I do have some party treats in my pocket" Damien said with a smirk.

Blair walked into the living room with some female friends and gave her devilish smile.

"Great, my friends love party treats" she said smirking.

* * *

Jenny was at the cafe facing the window. It was so bright outside that it hurt her eyes. She wished Nate was sitting at her seat. Nate opened his phone and saw there was a missed call and a new message from Serena. Jenny started tapping on the table again as she watched Nate look at his phone and quickly typed a message.

"Nate, what's going on? We've had coffee and two entire desserts. Can we go now?" she asked.

"Not just yet" Nate said as he snapped his phone shut.

He hailed down a waitress and ordered two more desserts to keep her occupied. The waitress nodded and quickly went to get the desserts ready. She came back after a few minutes with two giant pieces of cake.

"I can't eat anymore" Jenny said leaning back on her chair.

"That's okay, I'm really hungry" Nate said as he started eating one of them.

Jenny rolled her eyes and looked out the window. That's when she saw Damien with his arms wrapped around a gorgeous blonde bombshell.

"Is that Damien?" she said before getting up.

* * *

Nate went back to Serena's apartment by himself. Serena was sitting in the living room when Nate walked in. She still had the take out boxes on the table and haven't cleaned up yet. He sat on the floor with her and took one of the boxes to find lo mein inside. His stomach was still rumbling since he didn't have a chance to eat a proper lunch with Jenny. The lo mein tasted so good as he shoved some in his mouth.

"How was lunch?" Serena asked.

"I don't think you can count that as a lunch. We only had coffee and desserts" Nate said after he swallowed the lo mein.

"Did Jenny see?" Serena asked.

"Yeah she flipped out outside the cafe before going home" Nate said.

"Perfect, she won't be sleeping with that drug dealer anytime soon" Serena said.

"It's good you're looking out for Jenny, losing her virginity is a huge deal for a girl like her" Nate said.

Serena didn't like the sound of that statement.

"And what's that suppose to mean?" Serena asked trying to sound calm.

"I mean losing your virginity is a one time thing so she should get to know the person and make sure she loves that person before making the decision " Nate said.

"Serena you don't know this but I lost my virginity to you on a bar at the Shepherd Wedding and when I woke up the morning after I lost my virginity I find out that the person I lost it to, the person I loved had left town. Never to be heard from again for a year" Nate said.

Serena was shocked by the revelation. She didn't know that she already had history with Nate. Her stomach started turning into knots as she tried to find the right words to say but words failed her. There is nothing she could say to that.

"I really want to spend time with you, so please don't be mad?" Nate asked.

Serena nodded as she leaned on him as he placed his arm around her shoulder. Nate kissed the top of her head.

"I just don't want things to get more complicated" Nate said.

"I know" Serena said quietly.

"We have to get ready for Chuck's party soon" Serena said as she looked at the time.

"Yeah, I have to go get my suit on at Chuck's place" Nate said with a smile.

"Oh yeah, from the pictures you look pretty hot in suits" Serena said as she glanced up.

"Not as hot as you" Nate said as he leaned down to kiss her.

* * *

Blair and Serena was looking at a piece of art as they waited for the ceremony to begin. Chuck wasn't in sight but Blair knew he was tied up with the recent protestors. She sighed in frustration and Serena noticed.

"What's wrong B?" she asked.

"There's just so much going on with Chuck lately" Blair said as she took a sip of her champagne.

"I saw the headlines" Serena said.

"They're not true, he's changed" Blair said trying to explain.

Serena tilted her head to look at Blair. She didn't think much of it.

"I didn't think they were true. He's with you now" She said.

Blair was embarrassed and blushed remembering that Serena didn't know the old Chuck Bass and how he was with his father's employees.

"There's that whole thing about his mother too" Blair said.

"What about his mother?" Serena asked.

"Well Chuck spent his whole life believing that she's dead and all of a sudden she appeared. He's being paranoid right now" Blair said as she drank the rest of her champagne.

"I'm going to get more. Where's Nate?" Blair asked.

Serena shrugged her shoulders and looked around the room. Blair pointed out that Nate was talking to Jenny.

* * *

Nate sat down next to Jenny on the bench. He wanted to make sure she was doing okay.

"Thanks Nate" she said.

"For what?" he asked.

"If you hadn't taken me to lunch, I wouldn't have seen Damien with that blonde" Jenny explained.

"Jenny, you're a special girl your first time should be with someone that cares about you and will be there the next day" Nate said.

"Not like you're available" Jenny said as she looked away.

Nate sighed. Jenny kept her eyes forward didn't turn to look back at Nate. Damien walked in and looked at Jenny.

"Jenny we need to talk" Damien said.

"I don't need to talk to you" Jenny said.

Damien grabbed her wrist hard and pulled her up from the bench.

"We need to talk right now" he said.

Nate got up and grabbed Damien's shoulder.

"I'm sorry man, There's no way I'm letting you talk to her alone" Nate said to the point.

"Really?" Damien said.

"Really" Nate said as he inched closer.

Damien threw a punch at Nate's jaw.

"Damien!' Jenny yelped.

Security ran over to secure Damien's arms. Jenny turned as they were dragging Damien out of the building. She was kneeling beside Nate and touched her jaw lightly.

"Nate, hey are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah" Nate said.

"What happened?" Serena asked.

"Damien tried to talk to Jenny alone and got violent" Nate explained as he sat up.

"What?" Serena said shocked.

"Yeah" Nate answered her.

"Let's get you back home and put ice on it" Serena said as she helped him stand up.

Jenny watched as Serena helped Nate walk to the door. Dan rushed over and asked if she was okay. She nodded her head and kept looking at the two as they left the building.

When they reached Nate's apartment, Serena helped him sit on his couch. She rushed to the kitchen and found a sandwich bag to fill with ice. Nate was leaning back staring at the ceiling as he waited for her. Serena held the ice to his face and he winced once it touched his jaw.

"Feel better?" she asked.

"Sorry we had to leave early" Nate said.

"Don't be" Serena said as she shook her head.

The place where Damien punched him had already started turning purple and blue.

"Nate I was thinking about it all day and I'm really sorry that I left the morning after we you know, I never meant to hurt you" Serena said.

Nate smiled and pulled her to his lap. Her legs rested on the couch and she was still holding onto the ice. Nate wrapped his arms around her waist and looked down at her beautiful blue eyes.

"I know, if we did things over again it wouldn't have been that way" Nate said.

"If we did I would be with you in the morning cause" Serena said as she took a deep breathe.

"I love you" Serena said blushing.

"I've always loved you Serena" Nate said as he gave her deep kiss.


	6. Chapter Five

_A/N: Thanks so much for the review 3 Here's the next chapter...I'm trying to write as many chapter to this story and Once Upon a Second Chance if you read that one as well! Please review and let me know what you think! _

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

Serena's mother hasn't been back yet and it's been over a week. Her mother was at the canyon ranch with grandma. The biggest worry she had was today's party. She found out couple of days ago at lunch with Blair that today was Nate's birthday. Serena wanted to make sure it was special since it was the first birthday they're spending together. She knocked on the door and waited for Nate to answer. Nate had bed hair and pajamas still on when he answered the door.

"Happy Birthday" she said as she pulled on the party popper.

"Someone is a little too excited" he said inviting her inside.

Just as Nate closed the door, Serena's back was still facing him as he wrapper his arms around her and placed his head on her shoulder.

"So when do I get my present" he said.

"Later I promise! Right now I just have to go shopping with Blair to pick out a dress for tonight" Serena said.

"You still haven't told me where you're taking me but just so you know, you don't have to dress up for a Knick's game" Nate said releasing her.

"But you do for the Frick Benefit" she squeaked.

"It's for the asian horned toads...They're in danger" she said quickly covering her tracks.

_'I suck at lying'_ she thought.

"That's your surprise? a toad benefit?" Nate asked raising one of his eyebrows.

_'Argh what should I say?'_ Serena thought.

"Well I know it's not what you would choose to do on your birthday but Chuck bought a table and we can always celebrate this weekend. Beside you're going to lunch with your grandfather" she said hoping Nate would believe her.

'Have fun shopping" Nate moped.

"See you at 3?" she asked.

Nate nodded. Serena wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving. Once she got outside she quickly called Blair.

"Oh B! I feel so bad for lying to Nate" she said.

"Well you want him to have a great birthday right?" Blair asked.

"I know Nate has to think everyone's blowing off his birthday so he'll really be surprised tonight" Serena said.

"I don't even understand the game Assassin" Blair said.

"It's a game where you kill people and he loves it" Serena said as she tried to hail a cab to get to Blair's place. 

"Did you get his phone? In case anyone posts or messages him about the party?" Blair asked.

"Yes! I don't want him knowing" Serena said as she got into the cab.

* * *

Jenny knocked on the door and waited for Nate to answer. She groomed herself and made sure she went to get Nate a gift after she heard from Eric about Serena leaving him hanging for five hours to plan his surprise party.

"Hey" she said as he opened the door.

"Hey" Nate replied.

"Um I tried texting you" Jenny said.

"Oh yeah? I can't seem to find my phone anywhere" Nate said.

"Oh" Jenny replied fidgeting.

"What are you doing here?" Nate asked.

"It's your birthday, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday" Jenny said.

"Alright, thank you" Nate said with a smile.

"Here I got you this" Jenny said as she handed him his gift.

"Oh wow" Nate said as he took it.

"You know I'd say like let me take you out to lunch or something but I'm sure you and Serena already have plans" she said.

"No, actually we don't" Nate said with a frown.

"I was gonna go out to lunch with my grandfather" he said.

"Oh alright. Well, have fun….and um Nate? I really just wanted to say thank you again for yesterday. I don't know what would have happened if you didn't show up and rescued me" she said.

Nate stared at Jenny as she played with her fingers and sighed.

"You know what? Let me just call my grandfather and cancel. I'm sure he'll understand" he said.

They went to a local burger joint around the corner to eat lunch. His grandfather persisted they had lunch but eventually gave up when Nate said he had last minute plans. Nate was happy to see his burger when it came. His stomach was rumbling from the smell.

"So Serena must have something really great planned for you guys tonight right?" Jenny asked as she took a bite into her burger.

"Yeah some toad gala at the Frick" Nate said as he took a bite.

"Uh that sounds boring" Jenny pointed out.

"Yeah I know" Nate said shaking his head.

"I mean it's not like I had some high expectations since Serena is trying to gain her memories back but I just expected Serena to be a little more into it you know?" Nate asked.

"Basically this burger is definitely the best part of my day so far" Nate admitted.

"It's the best part of mine too...actually you know the best part of the week" Jenny confessed.

"How are you after that whole thing at Eleanor's? You know you can always come to me right?" Nate said.

"Yeah thanks but today is not about me….did i mention that public embarrassment is a part of the Humphrey birthday tradition?" Jenny said as she watched the waitress bring out a small cake with a candle lit.

"Okay I'm actually a little happy to be humiliated" Nate confessed.

"Good, blow out your candle and make a wish" Jenny said as she clapped her hands together.

Nate was walking down the street with Jenny when he realized it was almost 1:30pm. Jenny was humming and almost skipping along beside him. He felt bad that he had to leave now.

"Listen, I told Serena I'd be there by 3:00" Nate said.

"uh white shirt, black tie? I'd think you'd have it down by now...well have fun tonight" Jenny said.

"Yeah, are you okay?" Nate asked after he noticed Jenny frowning.

"Yeah, I'm fine…I don't know. It's just whenever I'm alone, I can't not think about the other night you know? Hey, I'm sorry you shouldn't keep Serena waiting but it's just that you're the only one who gets what I'm going through right now" Jenny explained.

"Well I'm sure Serena won't mind if I'm a little late right? Like you said white shirt, black tie. How long can it take to get ready?" Nate said with a smile.

Jenny smiled back knowing she had succeeded in her plan.

* * *

"It sucks pretending I didn't plan anything for his birthday when I have this amazing party planned" Serena said as she looked through the rack of dresses in the shop.

"Cruel to be kind S. Nate'll be fine" Blair said to reassure her.

"No word from chuck?" Serena asked as she looked at the black sparkling dress.

"He was sitting down with satan this morning. He's gonna lay everything out on the table, see if there's anything in the world he could offer Jack to give up the hotel. He's come so far to become the person I always knew he could be but he could lose it all because he opened his heart to that raven-haired con artist" Blair said as she looked at the beige dress.

"Everything will be fine B. No matter what, Chuck has you and he loves you. The Empire is just a hotel" Serena said genuinely.

"You don't understand S" Blair said shaking her head.

"The hotel is proof that Bart was wrong about Chuck. It's become who he is" Blair explained.

"Well then you have to show him that he has so much more. Starting with buying this dress" Serena said as she picked one out for her.

"Come on B! Once Chuck sees you in this, he'll realize Empire or no Empire, Blair Waldorf loves him and no one can say that" Serena said trying to comfort her friend.

"You know for someone that doesn't remember anything about us you do know how to cheer a girl up. Thanks S" Blair said.

Serena looked at her phone and realized it was getting late. It was almost 1:30pm and Nate will be over at Blair's place in an hour and a half.

"I have to go get everything ready for Nate's party….Are you gonna be okay? Let me know if Chuck calls you….And buy that dress!" Serena said as she walked towards the door.

Serena was at Blair's place getting the party setted up. She almost had everything she needed provided that Dan can bring the polaroid camera. The time was 3:00pm already and Nate was no one to be seen. Almost everyone arrived and Serena got a little worried.

"Has Nate showed up yet?" Serena asked Dorota.

"I'm really sorry Ms. Serena" Dorota said with a shrug.

Blair finally came home with one package in hand. Serena eyed it and realized it was the dress from the store that she picked out for her.

"Oh B! Did you get the dress?" Serena asked happily.

"Serena, come here" Blair said as waved her hand.

"You know you've done some unforgivable things like having sex with Nate when we were saving ourselves for each other - or killing Pete Fairman" Blair said.

Serena rolled her eyes, "B! I don't remember any of those things. But if it makes you feel better, yes I did some really unforgivable things in the past"

"Well how far is too far? Where is that place you can't come back from anymore?" Blair asked.

Serena looked at Blair and realized she was struggling with a decision.

"Blair...what are you talking about? Is Chuck gonna do something to Jack?" Serena asked confused.

"What? I mean yes….There's something someone could do to get back the Empire and yes it's terrible but they'd be doing it out of love" she said.

"Love of whom?" Serena asked.

"Just love" Blair replied.

"The point is, if someone does something awful but it's for love is it okay?" Blair asked.

Serena thought about the question for a moment and placed herself in her shoes. If Nate needed help and there was something she could do, would she do it for him?

"I think...if you're crossing a moral line to best Jack Bass then probably not. What are you not telling me B? Are you going to do something unforgivable?" Serena asked.

"Nothing...you're right. Thank you, I should get dressed….Oh! And I invited my minions" Blair said with a smile before walking up the stairs.

"Minions?" Serena questioned.

"These girls at NYU that do what I say...It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel" Blair said as she went to her room.

'Blair has minions?' Serena questioned in her mind.

Serena looked at the time again and wondered if something happened to Nate. She decided to call Nate's grandfather but to her surprise she found out Nate cancelled on their lunch. All his friends from Columbia was here, and Dan and Vanessa arrived with the polaroid camera for the game. Blair came back downstairs after she changed and noticed Serena worrying.

"Do you want me to start taking pictures of people?" Blair asked.

"Yes please, I'll grab the camera from Dan" Serena said with a smile.

Serena found Dan and Vanessa chatting by the stairs. She was still worried about Nate but it was her own fault for taking his phone. 

"Serena, I heard about your whole accident. Are you okay?" Vanessa asked.

"Yeah, it's good to see you. It's finally good to put a face to a name" Serena said.

"Dan doesn't stop talking about you when I hang out with him" Serena said laughing.

"Well that's what happens when childhood friends become a couple" Vanessa said staring at Dan.

"I suppose. Dan, can I get your camera? I want to start taking pictures" she said.

Dan handed the camera as she walked over to Blair. They started taking everyones pictures and Serena was still upset that Nate hasn't shown up.

"What do you think happened?" Serena asked.

"He probably thinks I don't care about his birthday" Serena said.

"I think you're worried a little too much. Nate will eventually come and see all this" Blair said.

"SURPRISE! Sorry we're late" Jenny screamed out as she walked into the room with Nate.

Serena's face turned as she saw Jenny with Nate. There was a ping of jealously running through her body but she took a deep breathe. She needed to start the party and explain the game to everyone else.

"The game of "assassin" is simple; kill or be killed. Your photo is your life, you wear it around your neck. If someone grabs your picture before you grab theirs, then you're dead and you have to give them all the pictures of everyone else you've killed. Once you're a ghost, you come back here to the safe zone for the party. You can't go beyond this block but restaurants, building, shops are all fair game. The winner is the last assassin on the street and they have all the other photo. So you have give safe minutes to leave the building…...Starting now!" Serena said.

Groups of people made their way down the lobby. Nate looked for Serena and tried to catch up to her. He wanted to thank her for the party she planned and he wanted to apologize to her thinking that she didn't care about his birthday.

"I can't believe you did all this. It's awesome! I mean, you totally had me going" Nate said.

Serena turned to face him and wasn't sure what to say. She was starting to get angry that he didn't show up on time and jealous that he showed up with Jenny.

"Apparently" she said bitter.

"What?" Nate asked confused with her bitter tone.

"What were you gonna do? Not show up for the gala?" Serena asked.

"What? No, something with Jenny just came up" Nate said.

Serena stopped walking since she wanted to talk about this and Nate stopped when he noticed. He didn't really want to fight right now.

"Yeah I got that" Serena said.

"Okay, we have exactly four minutes left to live. Do you really want to spend it talking like this?" Nate asked.

Serena shook her head and ran past him. Nate had said the wrong thing and left her feeling more confused about the situation. Was he trying to tell her that being with Jenny was more important than being with her? She saw Chuck in front of her with Blair. As soon as they were about to reach the front of the building they noticed Vanya getting down on one knee.

"Dorota from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were princess and every you make me feel like king. Will you marry me?" Vanya asked.

Dorota nodded her head "Yes yes! Of course I will marry you."

"Oh wow congratulations to you both" Blair said.

"Oh wow your housekeeper and my doorman!" Serena squealed as she hugged Blair. 

They all ran down the streets and people started to die as their photos were snatched from others. Serena noticed Jenny and Eric talking near a truck as she ran past them. She ran down the alley hoping no one saw her but to her avail it was a dead end.

"Any last words before I murder you?" Nate said with a smile.

Serena sighed as she turned around to face Nate.

"Nate, look I know you don't want to talk about it but I can't stop thinking about it…Why did you ditch me Nate?" Serena asked.

"Serena, it wasn't like that' Nate said.

"I really need to know why you ignored our plans to spend the day with Jenny" Serena said with a frown.

"Can you promise not to say anything to her?" Nate asked. Serena nodded.

"Okay after the whole Damien thing, something really messed up happened to her" Nate said.

"And she came to you about it?" Serena asked.

"Only because I was involved" Nate responded.

"Well that's not making me feel any better" Serena said crossing her arms.

"Some girls from Eleanor's fashion show roofied her and then they dumped her off at some bar with all these guys" Nate explained.

"Oh my god" Serena said as she covered her mouth.

"Is she okay?" Serena asked.

"Yeah, I mean I got there before anything actually happened but you know she's been having a tough time lately so I thought I would try and cheer her up" Nate said.

"You're such a good guy Nate Archibald. Can I kiss you before I kill you?" Serena asked.

Nate kissed her right before he grabbed her photo.

"Sorry" Nate said with a smile before he ran off.

Serena sighed and walked back to Blair's penthouse. Everyone was almost there but Jenny was still missing. She looked around and didn't see Blair still. Chuck was sitting on the couch when Serena went to talk to him.

"Hey Chuck, have you seen Blair?" Serena asked.

"I assume she's still slaying" Chuck said.

"Her polaroid is here" Serena said as she grabbed it from the table.

"You know Blair, she's probably cheating" Chuck said with a smirk.

_'Another thing learned about Blair'_ she thought.

Nate was running down the street and noticed almost everyone was dead. He figured he would go back to the party. The elevator reached the lobby and he got on. Jenny ran fast as she got into the elevator before it closed. She looked over at Nate and noticed he still had his photo.

Nate was already devising a plan. Jenny jumped up and wrapped her arms around him grabbing his photo silently. He quickly got her off and looked at her.

"What the hell was that?" Nate asked.

"What do you mean? We were playing and I killed you" Jenny said as she held his photo up.

"Jenny, us hanging out was just as friends" Nate said.

"Yeah I know. Nate seriously, I thought that you'd be happy I was finally having fun again" Jenny said.

The elevator reached Blair's penthouse as they both stepped out. Jenny held all the photos in her hand she screamed out "Guys I won!"

* * *

After the party, Nate and Serena went back to his place to celebrate the rest of his birthday alone. Nate was leaning back on the couch as he waited for Serena to come out of the kitchen. She had a small birthday cake in her hands from Ladurée with candles lit.

"Happy Birthday Nate Archibald" she said with a grin.

"Thanks" Nate said with a smile.

"I'm really sorry for tricking you this morning" Serena said as she sat next to Nate and set the cake onto the table.

"Ohhh it was worth it" Nate said as he wrapped his arm around her.

He was amazed at how much she effort she put into planning out his birthday.

"Seriously?" Serena asked.

"Yes, best birthday ever" he said as he leaned in to kiss her. 

Serena kissed him back and slowly trailed her kisses down to his collarbone. He moaned with each kiss and tugged her hair lightly backwards so that he could work on her neck. His lightly kissed her neck to her ear and licked the edge of her earlobe. She closed her eyes and gasped as his warm hands made its way down to her legs. Nate stopped and looked at Serena. She opened her eyes when she noticed he stopped.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I love you Serena" he started saying.

"I love you too" she replied with a smile.

He lightly touched the side of her face.

"I always wanted this with you and now that it's happening I'm worried that one day your memories will come back and you won't want this anymore" he said.

Serena couldn't help but laugh.

"Nate, I want this...I want you" she said as she pulled him closer.

"Serena...I'm scared that you'll disappear again" he said seriously.

"Nate Archibald, I love you. I don't care what happened in the past between us. I don't remember any of that. But from the time I woke up you have been nothing but kind to me and I honestly love you for that. If I could go back in time I would slap myself and tell myself not to leave you because you are the greatest person I have ever met. But for now, can we please forget our first night together from before? Because to me this is our first night and I know that tomorrow I'll be here with you in your arms" Serena said as he held his hand.

Nate smiled and leaned into kiss her. Everything that she said made him feel at ease. Serena was right although he remembered everything from the past it wasn't fair to assume anything in the present. Today was their "first night" together.


End file.
